As a soldier, those men could read the writing on the wall so to speak, knew it was going to happen and didn’t want to chance being that last casualty. They had homes and families they knew they needed to take care of and knowing they were going to lose eventually, chose to be able to support what they fought for so hard....their loved ones. No disgrace in 1865 giving up. For those who stayed it was out of love, respect, and support to their comrades....I doubt even General Lee in his own mind thought it would turn out differently but he was going to “go down with the ship” so to speak.