It was extremely rare for a wife to accompany the army, though some general officers occasionally had their wives with them. It was difficult for civilians, and especially unaccompanied ladies, to travel during the war. Most Confederate departmental commanders issued orders requiring passports for civilians to travel, and there were lots of provost guards out to enforce the rules.
I think that any Northerner who has a Confederate ancestor, and any Southerner who has a Yankee ancestor, should be proud. There is nothing more noble than an American soldier fighting for his country -- makes no difference what color his uniform was.
While we're on the subject of American soldiers, our dear friend Anthony Rushing -- Civil War historian and contributor to this message board -- is fixing to deploy to Iraq. Please include him in your prayers.
PS--My nephew recently returned safely from his third deployment, with another Bronze Star (but no Purple Heart this time). Thank God.