I couldn't locate any specific information about the wives and children of Union soldiers that served during the war, but here are some web sites about women in the American Civil War:
(locate The American Civil War Homepage, scroll down to Other General Resources: See several sites about women in the Civil War.
See also: www.womenandthecivilwar.org/
Hope this information is helpful. ....Joe Ashley
P.S. Civil War letters written by Union soldiers during the war are a great source of information about your questions.