The Gander boys came to Cooper County, Palestine Township (later New Lebanon, I think) in the mid-1850's from Page County, VA. One of their brothers, Martin Van Buren Gander, remained in VA and he served in Co. C, 39th Battalion, VA Cavalry, and other CS units during the war, but the families maintained close ties all their lives, visiting back and forth, etc. I believe the Cooper County families would have preferred to just quietly sit out the war and move on from there. After the war, that's pretty much what they did. Joseph T. moved his family to Bates County and settled in Pleasant Gap Township, where relatives still live today. Isaac stayed in Cooper County, and Martin stayed in Page County, VA, on land which also remains in the family 150 years later.
The excellent Kirby Ross site you mention and your wonderful books have really helped me understand what was going on in MO at the time. One day, when I muster enough courage to ask the right questions, I will be coming to this forum.
Much obliged, Jim.