"What Lincoln did was an all or nothing approach, ignoring those in the South who didn't want to leave the Union, causing more Southerners to choose between their families or their country with the most awful results."
David,
In my mind, he did what he was supposed to do. Preserve the Union. Until South Carolina attacked the US at Sumter, there was as much support in the north to let them go as there was to make them stay. After, the tide turned in the north and the men lined up to go. In the south they did the same. The big problem was that there were many more in the north than in the south. The north had manufacturing ability, etc. In my mind, the south was operating more on emotion than logic and reason.
FC