We were thinking her Grandmother's denial of the first one may well have been because she remarried. The second husband didn't live that long after the marriage so they may have thought she just wasn't his 'wife' long enough to qualify. She went to live with her kids and we finaly found her death notice and the cemetary info in Mississippi. My friend had no idea any of them had gone over there.
Thanks for the input. I can see how they took each case on its own merit.

Pam