It was waaaay later. When I 'grew up' and had discovered the reason Topsy "just growed" that I did go through the 'guilt' trip. I thought we were harsh, cruel people and from the way a few of my relatives acted, it was easy to come to that conclusion. I was in 6th grade when I read Gone With The Wind. My Mom, who never went to a movie, took me to see it when it was rereleased a few years later. Well, all girls are taken with the clothing. It's after going to events in real life in those hoops that I figured out I was glad we did not have to wear em all the time. That was the romance of the novel. We're all guilty if we read much and enjoy what we read. I wanted to go after Moby Dick myself. I thought they ought to have taken a Gatling gun. It may have worked better than a harpoon. I also wished I'd been around to help Molly Pitcher. Not Betsy Ross. She just sewed. I wanted to be in the 'picture'. A kids view of fiction and more so in historical 'fictional' story telling is skewed because a kid wants to believe everything. I was crushed when I learned Davey Crockett really did die at the Alamo. I wanted it to be a fictional happy ending but it wasn't fiction.
Mama said it was Daddy's fault. Everytime he got into the car, I jumped in too. As we rode through town, Daddy told me who the person was the streets were name for and why they deserved it. I remember him explaining the 'S' hooks on the old shutters. It was that type of information, in small but digestible doses that gave me this interest in how it 'was' and I believe we have to allow our children to know this too. If we lose the past, we will never get the 'present' right. Even if we do get it 'right' it's not going to please everyone. It's a windmill's tilt away from center but it's something.
Now I've bored you to tears with my childhood attempts to rewrite history, I will tell you I know it cannot be rewritten. It cannot be altered. It cannot be ignored either. If there's one thing in this life I do believe, it is there really are two sides to every story. Each side is valid to someone. When the first soldiers in the Continental Army were just trying to stay alive, they may not have thought while they were fighting just what the outcome would be if they won. It doesn't matter. They felt something strong enough to pick up a weapon and march. That hasn't changed. That's what our Men and Women in the military are doing. They have no clue what is really going to happen at the end of the journey/cruise/flight/tour. They just give it their best shot and hope there is something worth the trouble down the road. But- Every one of them has some idea of what they would like to see happen. This is where a difference in opinion is going to be the strongest.
Just as I do not believe every Confederate soldier was fighting to keep slavery going, I do not believe every Union soldier was fighting to do away with it. That's the rub.
Pam