George: My family tradition has it that my great grandfathers opposed each other at Pea Ridge. I know some of the Cherokees were there as well. I'm working on that aspect of family military history. My daughter in law's great grandfathers sound like the ones you describe. At family gatherings, even when they were old men, they would sit at opposite ends of the porch. Sad, isn't it? At the very least, they could have had some stimulating discussions about the whys and wherefores of the battles they were in, and compared notes, especially in the interest of their descendants. Sometimes we have to be bigger than the circumstances which put us where we are at any given place or time. I sometimes see people on subject specific websites, who seem to want to start the war all over again. That won't change a thing. You can't change history, especially after a century and a half, but one can sure learn a lot about the humanities, social science, economics, genealogy, military history and science, weaponry, and almost any other part one wants to pursue. I know it is hard for people to let oppression go, but they never heal until they do. We are all victims of our respective times, and the social conditions brought on by ourselves and others, and it is so hard to accept the fact that life is not always fair, but we cannot improve our future without reflecting on our past, so I guess that's one of the carrots that keep us trying to research it all for understanding and documentation. I'm proud of each part of me: Scots/Irish; English; and Cherokee. Every race on the planet is guilty of oppression at one time or the other. I smart when I read about the Trail of Tears my ancestors walked, and died on, but marvel at what they succeeded in building from the ashes. That's what makes it so darn interesting. When our grandkids study history in school, we know who made it..