I agree with Mr. Rushing.
Truth be told, it appears to me that you are imposing today's standards on yesterday's past.
I myself do not attempt to impose my personal thoughts on what my kinfolks did.
I do attempt to learn where they served, with whom and what happened.
The Civil War was a very hard time for this part of the world. How most of them survived is amazing to me.
As I once heard my long lost cousin say, I am proud to be a Southern born American.