I totally understand.
My great grandfather Harper was with the 5th Tenn. He was wounded at Shiloh and went home to recovery in Jackson. If he had stayed there at Shiloh, he may have not had a leg as the wound was through his leg.
Pvt. J. T. Harper is listed as killed in the Battle of Atlanta in one of those Tenn. county sites. He did not die, but that may have been where he was wounded for the second time.
After the war ended and the loss of his first wife around about 1880, he moved on to central Arkansas. There he remarried and had a houseful of children with a little lady who always refered to him as "Mr. Harper."
He died of old age and left at least a hundred descendents all of whom know that Grandaddy Harper was at the Battle of Shiloh.
I have never met a person who was not proud of their ancestor's service at Shiloh.