Attack and Die" [McWhiney & Jamison] includes a table entitled "Comparison of casulties suffered by Confederate & Union army commanders." I believe these figures are taken from Livermore's "Numbers & Losses."

Lee is shown with 134,602 casulties inflicted [major campaigns and battles] compared to 121,042 casulties suffered.

The next largest figures are for Grant at 83,699 inflicted and 81,312 suffered.

A footnote indicates that Grant's losses do not include some suffered in the Petersburg campaign because Confederate losses are unknown and no comparisons can be made.