The stand-in for Henry House was the Borden House at the Battle of Prairie Grove SHS in Arkansas. The prison camp scenes were filmed at Fort Gibson in Oklahoma. You make reference to Virgilia and Grady being shot - I think you are confusing "The Blue and the Gray" with "North & South." Much of "The Blue and the Gray" seems to adapted from Bruce Catton's "Reflections on the Civil War."

Now if only Disney would do "Rifles for Watie..."