This may answer some parts of your questions.
The United Daughters of the Confederacy in 1906 began a temporary Establishment to house indigent Veterans,their Wifes and Widow's;the MacAlester home was merely to serve until a permament plant could be build.
The Dau of Dr Daniel Hailey of McAlester-- Her 23-2/5 acre site was choose for the Confederate Home at Ardmore location constuction started in 1909 it was finished and opened in 1911.
Dr.Daniel Hailey helped select the site and was the elected-president of the trustee's
The site has picture's of the old home,clickable on the left.
History-Page 5 list large number of I.T. Civil War soldiers
"sorry" unable to find your man?