Dennis,
I think you have it right. Some stayed up north, some married and lived elswhere in the south. I remember reading about one lady who stayed in Chicago for five years before returning and her former/present husband had remarried in the mean time.
I don't think they were swalloed up and disappeared and I don't think Sherman was a war criminal anymore than I think the Forrest was for Ft. Pillow. I think with the passage of time stories get embelished. Sherman gets credit for things that happened in areas that his troops were not with in a hundred miles of.
Frank