Please forgive the length of this response -- couldn't avoid it, since I feel a strong need to try to be thorough and clear.

FIRST. Thanks so much to you, and others, for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully and kindly. Sorry I couldn't return the courtesy sooner. Please be assured that this was not a "seat-of-the-pants" fantasy. I, too, have been fascinated and deeply affected by that war -- and been compelled to study it deeply -- for a long life-time (I'm 65) -- even reared in Richmond, VA -- steeped in much world and national history. I have read hundreds of related books (no exaggeration) and newspapers -- and have closely examined many other resources, having visited many of the sites -- and have talked to many people holding all sorts of views. What I wrote was how it all honestly boils down for me. And, I would so like to help make a favorable difference for us all.

1. STICKING MY NECK OUT: I know I don't have all the answers and might be wrong -- though, obviously, I think I am not -- at least not entirely. I was hoping to tap the "common wisdom," so I can refine my understanding and grow into a better, more productive human being -- and do something good for our common circumstances. And you, and the others, are helping. I will adjust my thinking and writing, accordingly, as persuaded to. AND, I THANK YOU, AGAIN.

2. LIMITATIONS ON US ALL: Some may argue fault with the very premises I used to support my arguments -- which is an easy-to-understand impulse, since I am an imperfect words-smith and much of what I have said is "what-if" -- a set of questions which allows much room for varied interpretations, contradictions, and suspicions -- and, sadly, resentment. (I have plunged into very sensitive waters.)

Many things were possible outcomes of that war, besides the trail I ended up following. Plausible counter-arguments can be seriously posed. But, who can know for sure? Who can test their hypotheses -- after the fact -- even on things far less complicated than that unprecedented event? Who is so all-wise? All we can do is make our best truth-approximations and wait for help in refining them, until a reasonably and mutually acceptable result is distilled-out.

3. THE MEAT OF MY ARGUMENT: As you can see, I believe, as did President Lincoln and others, that the very existence of the nation was at stake. As a nation, the US was unique. It didn't arise, naturally. It was deliberately INVENTED (so, it could be un-invented, as well). Our situation was so unique that it can not be fully and fairly compared with the conditions and experiences of ANY other nations.

Besides, confederation had been tried and rejected as provenly ineffectual. It took a carefully-crafted NEW STATEMENT ON PAPER to bring the US into existence -- an "inventor's BLUEPRINT" -- and keep it there-- i.e. the Constitution. Without that carefully reasoned, debated, and pledged document, States would be free to go their own ways -- and with nothing to stop them -- they SURELY would have -- for the forces for doing so were too real, too big to overcome, individually. For the US, it was truly a question of "FIGHT OR DIE."

4. MY PRIME MOTIVE: It repeatedly seems clear to me that "we are all children of circumstance" -- which dictates everything about us, totally. To change the child, for better or worse, then change the circumstances for better or worst. I want changes to our nation to be all favorable. And that's ENTIRELY up to fate, which is PARTLY up to us. We have a duty to try to control our fates -- as favorably as possible, for self and the greatest numbers of others, now and into the vast future. Which is the ulterior motive for what I've tried to say.

5. THAT WAR WAS THE ONLY SOLUTION. Many, both at the North and South, saw that slavery was a loser. Yet, no one could see a practical, peaceful way to remove it. It had been entrenched so deeply for centuries. It was too integrated into the social fabric. The only way to settle it was EXACTLY what happened -- the hot "surgery" of war -- for a needy patient. ALL SIDES DID what they saw no choice but to do. And both sides proved WHAT A MIGHTY FORCE WE ARE AS A PEOPLE. The actions on both sides helped to make us stronger and ready for a brighter future. (It takes at least two to tango) Both sides were "children of fate," which sets its own agenda. And we survived and continue to flourish as a result of our common fate.

6. TOO RISKY TO LEAVE TO CHANCE. Some might say that the US was never at risk of perishing. But who knows, for sure? I certainly don't. But surely, no one can seriously deny that there was A TERRIBLE RISK that such COULD have happened to the US, roughly, the way I am speculating. (I think the risk was sure) Isn't such a serious risk worth considering, as we try to judge the meaning of that war? For, sincere divisions, impossibly longing for a Southern win, are still real and are still influencing our future -- coloring the views of each new generation. To what end? It all seems a wasteful diversion of precious life-force and human productivity, which could be better applied for the greater common good, elsewhere.

7. UNITY WAS AND IS AN ESSENTIAL FOR HUMAN SURVIVAL IN A HAZARDOUS UNIVERSE. Instead of the great strength which UNITY has clearly given us, destruction of the Constitution (abrogating our most basic founding agreement) leaves us extremely vulnerable to the internal and external forces which the Constitution helps keep under control. Surely, no one can seriously deny that we, as a nation, have done and are doing the best that circumstances allow. Should we throw out a clearly successful result, on a bet no longer necessary to wager?

8. YESTERDAY'S UNNECESSARY THREAT TO TODAY AND TOMORROW. Frankly, I am worried that we haven't yet been able to put this war into its most constructive light -- (may as well make the MOST of the way things ARE) -- which means leaving its advantages in place and pushing aside its lingering destructive complications. I think it's far too dangerous to ALL of us for some of us to keep harboring ancient grudges -- which no one can possibly do anything about. What good does that do? Do we bring back slavery -- as some might wish? Does it mean that we should allow parts of the country to leave the Union -- at their whim -- opening a door to possible disaster? What then? Would we be better or worse equipped to overcome the worst which life can drop on us -- as separate "fingers," rather than a "closed fist?"

9. NO CAUSE FOR GUILT NOR SHAME NOR CASUAL JUDGEMENT. No one, now living, had anything to do with causing and fighting that war -- and should feel not the slightest guilt nor resentment about roles they did not play -- nor should the living be condemned for the acts and omissions of our ancestors. Probably, if faced with the same choices they faced -- believing as they did, during those times -- we might not have behaved much differently. People are who they are -- and do what they believe they must -- according to the times in which they live. They can do nothing else.

10. FAIRNESS AND WELL-BEING FOR ALL. In fairness, I dare not condemn anyone, now living, for anything that happened during a time when they didn't even exist. Nor even the dead, about a war they could not figure out how to avoid. Not the South. Not the North. I wish ALL of our people only well -- to move forward into better and better days. To build on the lessons of history with an intellient understanding of our limitations in doing so.

Friendship is usually better than enmity -- life already gives us enough enemies. And, it is an essential to the national health. But, it is also a duty to speak out when one feels the society to be in great danger.

11. "SINS" OF THE FATHERS? The ancestors only did what they apparently found unavoidable. Carried along by an awesome momentum. The wrongness or rightness of their actions is up to history to judge. And, time has made us, and our posterity, the judges. That is a duty -- else the great sacrifices will lose some meaning which are worth discovering and keeping. We all have to judge the things people do that specifically affect us. But we have no right to condemn the living children for the sins of the father. Each generation already has it own sins to answer for. That's plenty. The jury's out, until after the end, to see whether the living have taken on or rejected those sins -- or have not seen them as sins, at all. (Yet, to sin is to be human -- to learn and rise above it, divine)

12. NO OFFENSE EVER INTENDED -- JUST TRUTH-SEEKING. So, I worried about offending our Southern brethren and sistren with unintended unfairness -- or over-bluntness -- or a mistaken perception of these things. I offered what I did, ONLY to urge all of us to avoid preserving (even savoring) the divisions that can only hurt our future -- and to trigger feedback which might help me mature my own understanding. (There's a lot of wisdom out there, waiting to be unlocked) I only ever wish to do what is right and proper.

13. A STUMBLING-BLOCK. I think we are all looking back with the "advantage" of hindsight -- which was not available during the heat of the "bloody discussion."

But, my impression is that some of our Southern neighbors -- may not believe that that war was unavoidable. Or feel that it shouldn't have been fought at all. Or that only the North was at fault. Or that it should have been fought by a different "set of manners." That someone should be punished -- for perceived grievances, in the hearts of those -- who weren't even there -- and who have nothing to gain from holding them -- but much to lose and cost us all. Who feel that "being left alone" was the only right course for this high-stakes game. And, to that, I am respectfully disagreeing.

14. IN A NUTSHELL. Let's stop wasting our lives, re-fighting that war. Remember and understand the circumstances and honor the participants, yes. But let it not interfere with our chances to be friends. "Let there be peace," at long last.