It would be easy to look at the southerners as "evil", and some on this BB are convinced I THINK that. I don't, but I have read enough of what the South was saying, and writing at the time right before, and during the war, to have a GOOD IDEA what they were thinking.
The shame of it is that the South seems to have not thought about the harsh judgment that would be leveled at them in the future. The North looks good because they made it look like they were out to end slavery, got it ended, and they look good to future generations. Someone must have been thinking about way in the future!
The South must have been thinking that if they were forced to give on the slavery issue, where would it stop...give up guns, States have less & less rights, minorities have more power...
Both groups were looking to the future, but future public opinion sides more with the North.
Allen is right, both sides were on a collision course, and neither wanted to move out of the way in time.
You may be looking too hard for an answer that is right in front of you.